~~ The Utter Terrain ~~

Life’s Little Annoyances - things that drive a sane person nuts
————————————————————————

• You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them. (that’s why i try it on other people, they’d look stupid)
• The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle. (i always do that to people)
• The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on. (i always think of jumping all the way down)
• There’s always a car riding your tail when you’re slowing down to find an address.  (like it isnt enuff that i already suck at driving)
• You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.( or sudu, lepas tu kena cari sudu lain nak cedok balik)
• There’s a dog in the neighborhood that barks at everything.
• You can never put anything back in a box the way it came. (dayah..hehe)
• You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
• A station comes in brilliantly when you’re standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away. (hana)
• There are always one or two ice cubes that won’t pop out of the tray.
• You wash a garment with a kleenex in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
• The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
• A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.
• You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am. (i ended up sleeping more than 15 hours)
• The radio station doesn’t tell you who sang that song. (it’s upsetting since u can only imagine choking the DJ at the other end)
• You rub on hand cream and can’t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out. (benci…bencii)
• People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.
• Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
• You can’t look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don’t know how to spell it. (dhuuhh-H)
• You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you’re just browsing.
• You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can’t find it.
• You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.
• The remote is on top of the TV.
• The seat at the bus shelter is wet after rain. (hello- shelter??)
• People who stick up for the person you’re bitching to them about.
• You fill up the kettle then forget to turn it on, until you drink it the next morning. (i wonder how many times i’ve drunk the rusty syabas tap water)
• When you are waiting and waiting for your food at the restaurant the moment you light up your cigarette your food comes (ni pade smokers la, selalu je nampak diorg kena cam nih)

hallo

i got this nice pic from our balcony.. my Sony rocks! 

last weekend was a blessing. it was no ordinary weekend, it was Father’s day. Maybe there will be people that roll their eyes and say "urgghh, get over it".. (i hope not.. i dont know any cruel people). I know it wasnt healthy for me to be thinking of the day (well, can’t really help it since father’s day ads are everywhere, it kinda beg you to watch). and i know it is not our Malay custom to be celebrating Father’s Day, but my family sort of did anyway. ( it still is very painful to use everything in past tense..weird sometimes). Anyway, i baked cake for him on Father’s Day every year (since i know how to bake la) or at least pear muffins. it sort of.. has became a routine, so i just had to do it.. terus gi giant with my two bodyguards,, then tunggang tebalik dapur.. primitive betul,,mixer,penyukat sume tadek,,, so campak, gaul je sume…

anyway, i got the joy just by having my friends came over eat and borak2,, it was’nt the same joy, of course, but it was indeed the same feeling of appreciation and delight. So, happy belated birthday pejal.. i owe you that. (Even with their cute barbaric way of hoovering all, still.. they are the best..)

later on Sunday, my sis and bros fetch me from baiduri and i joined the whole geng of bangi family gi Tesco. . (i didnt know there is a human who wants to buy 9 bottles of ice lemon tea individually, and refused to buy it in carton..i mean REALLY refused,,sedangkan, it’s way cheaper. This guy has issues with cardboards or boxes, i’m sure)..Then, we were just shop around and just eat together.., maybe as a silence celebration of Father’s Day.

Anyway, i got bullied by two tiny soldiers ..as usual,,i’m sure they inherited 95% gene from their mom..explains the sugar level, running momentum and falling inersia. well, they shines the rainy day, nonetheless. 

really.. a week ago, i was wondering how the hack am i goin to get thru this annoying weekend. it wasn’t bad. not bad at all.

Memorable quote of the day..

" there’s a lot i want to teach you, but i don’t have the time to do it. If u want, i can teach you how to make a user, to never want to use a PC for the rest of his life.."

                                                                                            - kuhen-

isk..isk.. how thoughtful…this sentence encourage us for speed learning, so that we have all the time to learn how to dengki orang lain ..  what a great sifu eh?

dayah,,,kau tak perasan PC kau macam pelik pelik sikit ke…hehe ? 

MCSE.. When friends told me.. we wud get the chance to seat for the Microsoft certificate. I gave this dumb trademark look (that ..hehhh??” look) and people know I don’t understand habuk pun. MCSE for me at that time was only 4 alphabets being put together and being talked around with a hint of urgency or some sort of sophistication to the tone of voice. I only paid attention when they say it’s FREE (I think everyone wud,,)

And people keep repeating “iza got MCSE?? Ishh,,buat betul-betul” till the extend I got worried because it beginning to sound like a plague or brand new construction company, I don’t know.. Only then I surfed the web. Then,, there’s MCAD, MCSA. CCNA.. and I thought..now..that’s too many alphabets. My baiduri girls are sitting for these certs. Classmates too. At least I know what CCNA is. Well, I am oblivious to everything nowadays.. or was it since born. It’s a chance of a lifetime.. and suddenly I’m in love with Dr Adnan, our charismatic dean.

First class was too shocking.. the trainer, Mr M.Kuheandran was surprised to have software engineering students in his class. First day..i got this nagging pain on my neck, caused by constant bowing and looking at the keyboard, floor, cables, ant (betul, x tipu, ade semut dlm lab),, just because I cannot answer the questions,, bile tanye cemane kire subnet? Sume tunduuuukkkk, ip ade bape class? 8 class pun ade org jawab..me?,, tunduuuk seperti biase.. even kuhen laughed. Then he taught us from the very beginning,, 2 days of introduction,,, we are computer students, mesti la tau here and there about network,,just don’t know what they’re for..So after being explained,,dengarla the “oooOOOooo..mende tu,,,” being said synchronously.

I must say, this Kuhen guy, is so amazing.. his patience is beyond human. I think he meditates, does qi gong or something at some ashrab or holy temple before. Or maybe Yoga. He taught us one by one,, till it’s amazing how fast we cud get to 5 pm. We don’t even mind balik at 6pm. He troubleshoots everything and he knew what went wrong with each pc just by looking at the pop ups.. (I swear I hear McGyver trademark soundtrack at the background,,everytime he troubleshoots..) even me, shidi and fara were wondering is there anything this kuhen cannot do? We shud throw in money and bet kan?

Because this less-pressure environment.. and gratitude to him, I managed to learn from ZERO.. now I got more than 50% la.. at least I know OSI model is not a hardware. And I know subnet has it’s purpose other than bcoz it sounds nicer and more IT-er. Except bile nak seat exam. I got seven papers to seat,, and the pressure was indescribable.

The first paper 290.. was tough like crazy.. and I studied like crazy too. I got to pass it one way or another. I need to at least gain an MCP..thus, at least pass one paper. That day came eventually. I was nervous macam nak naik pelamin, mmg kalah nervous amek JPJ. And my mistake, I drank coffee that morning and nothing else. So, when the time nak check marks..(it’s cruel y’know, with just one click u’d know your fate for dat paper) all of the sudden, pc buat hal.. laaaaaame sangat white screen, I was thinking craps,, and the people yg jage exam also got worried and u figure what did dat make me think. And thank you for that extra dosage of coffee..i suffered extraordinarily rapid heart beat and I started seeing white spots. At last my result came out and just when I thought I read Congratulations u passed—and puff! It was gone and the PC started to restarting again. What the..??? the guy came up and asked me to stay,,there was a possibility that I had to re-seat the paper again. I turned blue,..(Action does speak louder than words)

Fortunately, the server had captured my session..and started printing.. I insist to looked at the paper..he went “ayyoo, lulus laa,, tala tipu punyaa,,” Haha..after that episode, all I can say is.. hmm.. so this is how stroke felt like. I have planned a celebration if I pass it. Let see, first, I was thinking of doing cartwheel, since that mite lead to severe injury, I figured I’d go for jimi asmara dance routine. Well, that didn’t happened, since my heart cudnt take the tiniest motor function. I just thank God and went home,, told my mum, dayah, sab, hana ain and then I did my own hungga hungga dance (details are classified). I was wondering how am I going to get thru this for another 6 times.

Hehe.. I oredi went thru 3 papers. Alhamdullillah passed them all. My jantung is healthier than ever provided I eliminate coffee on exam days. So..4 papers to go,,, gambarimasu.. wish me luck.

Congratulations to MCSAs dah pass 3 papers.. and MCADS passed 2 papers.. Come on ramai2 stir microsoft..

ALL in ALL

standing on top of the edge it feels like it’s going down

everything stays in my mind feeling in a daze on the ground

feels like it’s gonna give life’s too hard to live anymore

I think I’ve had enough things too tough I’m out the door

all in all it’s just another day now

you’re falling down what you gonna do

standing on top of the world tonight and no ones looking back at you

stand tall it’s going on it’s going on

it’s gonna be just fine

you’re holding on, holding on today

things don’t stop and the others announced they’re moving on

salt and tears in the minds and the mouth of a bad decision

too late for another mistake it’s bringing you down

with all your faults it isn’t your fault what’s going on

so you lost yourself

so you lost your way

found life through someone else

but you threw it all away

all in all it’s just another day now

you’re falling down what you gonna do

standing on top of the world tonight and no ones looking back at you

stand tall it’s going on it’s going on

it’s gonna be just fine - you’re holding on - holding on today

times rolling on - rolling on today

ARIGATO

daremo ga kizukanu uchi ni
  nanika o ushinatteiru
fu tto kizukeba anata wa inai
  omoide dake o nokoshite
sewashii toki no naka
  kotoba o ushinatta ningyo tachi no you ni
machi kado ni afureta NORA NEKO no you ni
koe ni naranai sakebi ga kikoetekuru

*****************************************************************************************************

While no one was noticing
  it became lost
With a start I realized you were gone
  and only memories remained
Restlessly, I could hear voiceless cries
as if made by dolls who had lost the power of speech,
or crowds of stay cats on street corners

If I ever meet you again
I just want you to know one thing
    thank you   

hello readers..

or else, i just write for myself. it’s been too long since i last wrote, too many things happened but i won’t start listing. just to note that this is unfortunately the hardest 4 months for me. even i am impressed i got thru those bumps in one piece.

i couldn’t start my blog again without being sentimental. There are few people that i want to thank, those who prove how significant they are in my life and how i am to theirs. That’s wat they say, things happened when you least expected. Fortunately, u came to know what’s the meaning of family, friends and most importantly what is sincerety. there are people that u thot wud first come to the rescue, but didn’t and those that u think will ignore, but actually care.

The world doesn’t stop for your grief, and I know, moving on is the best revenge. Ever heard of these?

DENIAL

ANGER

BARGAIN

DEPRESSION

ACCEPTANCE

These 5 stages of coping. i knew this when En.Shukor taught it in IT project management class, and i know it by heart till now. Actually, I was blended in all. Sometimes I was in rage but I accept, at times I’m in denial and I bargain, then I got mad. Or i accept but couldn’t help feeling depressed. It was such a full blow, I don’t even know if my heart could form partitions for these stages. 

One thing I know is, even if for a second u are angry at Him….but u cannot, not believe in Him at the same time. Nobody can, even if God to them is just an ornament of art.

I imagine life would be so wrecked up, and I lose the interest to collect myself. What I didn’t expect is the important people in my life, siblings, friends and pet,, they are the one that help you to help yourself. I’m surprised the extend that people could go to just to see you smile. Just to get you to eat. The people that cook for you and form a smile while watching you eat. Or people that laugh even harder when they hear you giggle. and praise you of getting prettier if you get chubbier and fatter,,(weird, I know) And the person who quote an indon makcik and tell me “jangan larut dalam kesedihan.”

And there are the people that scream gambatte when I’m 100% determined to buat gulai lemak of my printer or detached the keyboard and monitor from my laptop. People that pushing my limit till I printed the page 139 of my thesis report. Who stayed up along for the thought of silent motivation (but never admits it). (by the way I stayed up for 48 hours straight, and I’m gonna tell this to my cucu cicit about that accomplishment, so bare with it)

So, my thesis result is for all to share, even I would never know if my dad knows, if he is sharing the joy with me. It’s not even joy; it’s more like solace.. I’ve given him a present that was realized through his hope and faith. I did it and that gave me comfort.

So, I’m moving on, not as revenge but as present to people around me. Soon, we will go our own way, but we still have faith in each other. if I can bring a jar of faith anywhere with me, It would be filled with your names. You people, you know who you are,, I hope we always have each other. I thank you.